Aero-bicide

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In the 80’s a lot of trends were set and then destroyed…the biggest (and saddest to see go) trend was the explosion of Aerobics…everyone and I mean literally everyone was into aerobicizing, a few movies were made on the subject in many different genres (comedy, drama, etc) but few come close to presenting it in such a way that gives it the credit it deserves…that is where David A. Prior comes in…or as I like to refer to him as “The Motherfucking Genius”. Mr. Prior, the man who brought my favorite genre (the 80’s slasher) and the sexiest trend (aerobicize) of the 80’s together in one hell of a mishmash horror gem called Aerobi-cide (aka Killer Workout).

Let’s get this started…

First we meet Valerie, (Marcia Karr) a young hottie who has just gotten a job in some far away land. Upon hearing the news, she does what all women in 1986 did to celebrate…she hit the tanning salon. Bad move for our girl, because a mishap in the tanning booth causes her to catch on fire and burn to death. Flash forward a few years and we meet Val’s twin sister; Rhonda (the drill sergeant-like owner of “Rhonda’s Workout” played again by Marcia Karr), our anti-hero-who-hits-on-all-the-chicks-guy; Jimmy (Fritz Matthews) and our crew of soon to be victims sporting all that made 80’s workout gear so fine…cut off sweaters, teased hair, legwarmers and plenty of neon. I dig it baby! After one of our nubile excise maniacs is killed with what appears to be a giant safety pin (!!!) the body is found and an investigation begins by hard-assed Detective Morgan (David James Campbell doing his best Charles Bronson impersonation). After some harassment of the gym’s patrons from Det. Morgan we meet the new hunky employee; Chuck Dawson (Ted Prior-the director’s Brother!) who was sent over from Rhonda’s secret business partner to help out at the gym. After Chuck and Jimmy exchange some blows in the parking lot in a fight scene that rivals any 80’s martial arts film (think Gymkata) we find out that Jimmy dabbles in S & M and that Chuck is not just a new employee at the gym, there is more to this hunky martial artisan than meets the eye. After some more kills, and a whole lot of jiggling, Chuck goes hardcore into investigating Jimmy, we find out he is a private investigator, there are plot twists, more jiggle and the shit hits the fan-I am not going to give away all the twists, but it’s borderline M. Night territory…and I loved every minute of it.

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Chock fucking full of amazingly hot women in leotards and legwarmers with teased hair dancing up a storm in crazy montage scenes Aerobi-cide is the kind of movie I would have DREAMED couldn’t be possible in my younger days. So much that it makes me wish I was 12 years old coming across this on some late night station. That said, does it hold up 20+ years later? That depends…I don’t imagine it was THAT awesome in it’s time-but it’s a pretty damn fun ride. Now to say Aerobi-cide is a product of it’s time would be an understatement….imagine 20 minute workout meets…fuck, I don’t know…insert some slasher film from the 80’s and that’s what you get here. I am not complaining, it’s fucking awesome, it’s just beyond words…there is gore, there is nudity and there is a plethora of 80’s stench all over this piece of trash and by now I hope my readers have realized I use the word “trash” as a loving term of endearment-because a film like Aerobi-cide needs to be seen by anyone who loves 80’s slasher films, 80’s action films, 80’s workout videos or 80’s … well, just the 80’s.

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So, stop watching some bullshit “I love the 80’s” show on VH1 and start scouring the internet for a copy of David A. Prior’s 1986 masterpiece; Aerobi-cide.

Charlie “Oh, he’s nuts alright!” Brown

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~ by exploitnation on March 2, 2008.

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