Buford’s Beach Bunnies

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Ok, I love 80’s T & A comedies. This you already know, but what happened to all the scripts that were left lying around by the end of the 80’? What was supposed to happen to these scripts? Were they just supposed to fade away and the movies left unmade? Well, probably…thankfully a handful of directors didn’t agree with that and some films still squeaked through…well lucky for us in 1993 writer/director Mark Pirro gave us the “amazing”; Buford’s Beach Bunnies. Read on!

What would you say if I told you Tom Hanks had a brother and his name is Jim Hanks, and while Tommy was making crap like Apollo13 and the like our boy Jim was staring in straight-to-video schlock like Buford’s Beach Bunnies? Well he does, and he did. Wow, I couldn’t believe it either…

So, here’s the story…Jim Hanks plays Jeeter Buford, son of Harry Buford, (Barrett Cooper) who is the owner of a fast food restaurant that only sells bunnies and only employs sexy girls in bunny costumes to sell bunny burgers and such. When Jeeter gets kicked out of some mental hospital (because he is too shy around women…he literally convulses around them) his dad makes it his personal goal to “cure” Jeeter of his female phobia and makes a deal with his “bunnies” that if any of them bed down Jeeter he will give that bunny $100,000. You can guess what happens next…As the bunnies all fight over who will pop Jeeter’s cherry in various silly sexual situations his cousin Beula Lugosi (Ina Rogers) comes up with a silly plan to make the bunnies fail so she can take over the bunny restaurant when Harry kicks it…she enlists a goofball hypnotist named “The Amazing Foreskin”, Kitten Natividad shows up for a while, Buford has a bunch of flashbacks from the traumatic event that caused his fear in the first place and there is an unexpected twist at the end that was actually quite original & surprised even me.

Now get this, Jim Hanks looks and acts exactly like Tom Hanks’ character from Family Ties (as the drunk uncle Ned to the Keaton family), except he is sober…well…I don’t know that for sure, he may have been on SOMETHING while he made this film, but his character is sober. The production values are LOW, the “jokes” are non-existent, and the “acting” is bad…I guess. But one has to ask themselves “were you expecting Philadelphia part 2” with a title like “Buford’s Beach Bunnies”? I’ll give it a couple positives though, the title doesn’t lie, there are a few Buford’s, there are a lot of bunnies and they do hangout at the beach. Oh, and it would be a crime to not mention the bunnies themselves; Rikki Brando, Monique Parent & Suzanne Ager are all hot and get naked frequently but the real star here is a girl by the name of Bettina Brancato who plays the amazing foreskin’s secretary…my dvd player is still sizzling.

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Now, I can’t really tell you that I liked Buford’s Beach Bunnies, but I can’t say I didn’t like it either…it is what it is-take it or leave it, but if you want to see some naked girls, and pretend that you hanging out with Gilbert Godfried you can have your own USA Up All Night parties circa 1993.

Charlie “six hair pies extra whip cream” Brown

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~ by exploitnation on March 2, 2008.

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