Biohazard

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Before Writer/Director Fred Olen Ray gave up on making “serious” sci-fi/horror films and focused on features such as “Genie in a String Bikini” and “13 Erotic Ghosts” he made a couple serious…(maybe?)…attempts in the sci-fi/horror genre. Films like “Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers” and “Evil Spawn”…the kind of movies you either love or hate. If you know anything about me…then you know I am game for a shitty film any night of the week. On today’s menu; 1985’s “Biohazard”.

Angelique Pettyjohn plays “Lisa”; a bra-bustin’ psychic working for the government in a secret lab where with the help of a wacky doctor and a hollow globe on her head she can visualize matter and transport whatever she is visualizing into the same room with her. When there is a mishap with the equipment, Lisa inadvertently summons a creature from another planet hell bent on destroying earth. When the army fucks up and loses the alien, they enlist Lisa to help them track down the “beast”. The rest of the army go back to the base and it’s up to Lisa and Sgt. Carter (William Fair-who looks like a poor mans Bruce Campbell) to lead the investigation. Carter shacks up with Lisa, they get busy, they search for the alien (who randomly kills locals), some uncredited hot blonde girl gets naked and there is a twist ending I really…REALLY didn’t see coming.

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Saying the “monster” is a man in a rubber suit is giving it too much credit. The monster was actually Olen Ray’s 5-year-old son, Christopher in half a rubber suit…the upper half. The lower half seriously looks like a pair of jogging pants. The acting is flat…except for Pettyjohn who steals the show (and spends a lot of screen time in clothes that don’t fit her). The gore…oh the gore…well…the gore is on par with TROMA films (at times). Olen Ray is obviously from the school of alka-seltzer and red food coloring, and well, surprisingly it is effective. Drew Neumann’s score is comparable to an episode of Star Trek (when they are on an unknown planet type of stuff) and works well for the film. There is a lot of low keys mixed with high organ. Eerie stuff that if the lame dialog wasn’t interfering with your enjoyment of the music then I could give this a higher rating based on the score alone.

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Besides the score, the silliness of the aliens “action” scenes (which are sped up to make him seem more intimidating…? Maybe?), and Pettyjohn there is little reason to spend a lot of time trying to track this one down. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Pettyjohn is fucking hot (sadly she passed away in 1992 to cancer), and watching this 76-minute piece of Olen Ray trash wasn’t hard to do (it’s kind of fun actually), but unless you come across this one on cable or a used cheapie bin I wouldn’t stress out about it too much.

Charlie “You’re nothing but a pain in the ass” Brown

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~ by exploitnation on March 14, 2008.

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