Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror

Now, don’t deem me a racist, but don’t you generally find that all black comedies are exactly the same? I loved the first “Friday,” but to make more than one sequel without Chris Tucker just for money’s sake was a bad move. I know the films are still popular, but they follow the same plot lines and run them into the ground completely. “Barbershop” was another exception that laid new ground for black comedy, but I’ve seen enough “Booty Call’s” and “All About the Benjamin’s” to where I can guess the plot just from the box art: Guy needs money, guy hooks up with zany friend to hatch a scheme, after so-called hilarity and failure ensues, they somehow luck out and strike it big. Guy ends up with a beautiful crush who originally thought he was just a player, wacky friend ends up married to the annoying fat woman he originally ignored. Everyone lives happily ever after. However, 1995’s “Tales from the Hood” took black comedy and turned it into BLACK comedy. It took serious issues like gang violence, police brutality, racism, and domestic abuse and flipped it on its ass by crafting hilariously morbid but emotionally stirring segments. Had we more films like “Tales from the Hood,” there would be a lovely mix of black comedies/drama and horror flicks for everyone to enjoy. I mean, really, who can watch “Blacula” and not feel a little guilty? Well, thanks to recent films like “Gangs of the Dead,” black horror may have a chance to become more fully developed and become a staple in the genre. But this review isn’t about “Gangs of the Dead.” Oh, no, friends. This is about a little ditty called “Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror,” and I don’t really know any hip street terms, but this movie is ___________. (fill it in yourself, dick.)

Now read this sentence carefully: This movie is pretty awesome. No, I’m serious. It’s pretty fucking good. I’m not talking, like, “The Bicycle Thief” good, but it’s extremely entertaining. We’re given three different stories, all hosted by Mr. Dogg (cleverly deemed the Hound of Hell) himself, that follow the exploits of some “hood”lums and the consequences that they must face, dished out (in essence) by the Hound of Hell.

The first segment follows a Latina tagger (graffiti artist) named Posie (Daniella Alonso from the upcoming “Wrong Turn 2”), whose artistic tagging is being spray painted over by various gang members, namely Fatcap (played by Noel Gugliemi, that guy who plays a Mexican gangbanger in every movie ever made, including but not limited to, “Bruce Almighty”). Though she’s not intimidated by their actions and cruel demeanor, she still doesn’t have the power to do anything about it until she’s abducted by Derelict (played by Danny Trejo, the other Mexican guy who is in every movie ever made) who gives her a very bizarre arm tattoo that allows her to take down gang members by simply spraying an X over their tags. But will the power be too much for her to handle? Will she misuse her new gift? Will Noel Gugliemi stop taking typecasting roles as “Paco” and “Mexican Convict #1”? I think we all know the answer. Aside from a very simplistic plot, this segment features some pretty wicked death scenes; namely a thug falling on and being facially impaled by his own forty. So the gore definitely keeps this chapter of the “Hood” alive and well.


In the second segment, Tex Jr. (Anson Mount, “All the Boys Love Mandy Lane”) and his bimbo wife are hot to trot after his war hero father dies, leaving his inheritance to Jr. Unfortunately for the southern-drawling, Caucasian-nation enthusiast, his father’s will has one stipulation. To collect the money, Tex must live with four Gulf War veterans that were under his father’s command. Once they pass away, the money is his. To make things worse for Tex, all four men are “colored.” So, Tex and his lady move into the large, yet, modest home and immediately begin renovations despite protests from the vets, namely Roscoe (Ernie Hudson). They tear down the walls upstairs and turn the vets’ room into one giant suite for just the two of them, leaving the ex-troops camping out downstairs. They only comply due to their allegiance to Tex Sr. who they still highly admire from their time in the Gulf. However, when Jr. begins pushing them to their limits, their honor goes M.I.A. and they embark a new and grisly mission. But in the end, who is going to be judged by the Hound of Horror? Tex, or the vets? This segment is much better than the first because first off, Tex Jr. is a fucking cock. This guy has no Southern charm whatsoever and his idea of Southern Hospitality is enough to make you want to kill him. This story is a lot more comedic and dark humored, which gives it an awkward but silly atmosphere. The kill count may be low, but the death-by-caviar scene is well worth the trade.

The third and final segment revolves around an aspiring rapper, Sod (Pooch Hall) who, after praying to God for a sign, meets Quon (MAD TV’s Aries Spears) who gives him the motivation and connections to become a world-famous rapper. Flash forward a few years and Sod is now a big deal. He’s up for an award and we also find out that his ex-partner Quon was killed in a gas station robbery. A cocky Sod wins the award hands down and retires to his dressing room to party the night away. But things get strange whenever he’s visited by Clara (Lin Shaye of “Dead End” and “2001 Maniacs” and on a personal note, one of the few 60+ year old women I would like to woo) who makes not only his guests disappear, but the door to his room as well. Forcing him to sit down, she says that when he prayed to God for a chance, he said he would become a better person. But after showing him a few video tapes, we realize that to get to the top, he committed some pretty uncouth deeds with the help of his bodyguard, Jersey (former pro-wrestler-turned-actor Diamond Dallas Page). Soon, his past comes back to haunt him and Sod has to decide if he wants to end his career in a blaze of glory or gunfire. This segment of the film is really quite good. Aries Spears’ performance as the “it’s not about fame, but passion” oriented Quon is very noteworthy; even his flow when he raps sounds legit. There’s a cameo by Jason Alexander as a record producer with a slapped on half-ass Australian accent as well. But considering that it’s about how to play the game of going from nothing to a big something, I think it’s probably the most apropos story for Snoop to host.

Altogether, “Hood of Horror” is something to behold. Though it doesn’t make as nearly of a drastic statement as “Tales from the Hood” did, the film still has its roots buried in the subtle commentaries of gangs, senseless violence, and racism. Lots of violence and good special effects are put into use, as well as animated scenes that spread throughout the segments. With all of its surprise guests, gore and humor, “Hood of Horror” might have what it takes to put black horror on the right side of the tracks.

The Hidden Message: All this talk of black comedy has put me in the mood for some Robin Harris (rest in peace, brother). Someone get me a copy of “Bébé’s Kids” pronto!

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~ by exploitnation on May 15, 2008.

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